


Candy and Chains

by teddygirl105



Category: VIXX
Genre: Analogies of Drugs, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Gen, M/M, References to Drugs, aka they're idiots and don't understand how dangerous lies are, analogies, sensitive topics, so idiots, they want each other back but can't show it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-07 17:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14085651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teddygirl105/pseuds/teddygirl105
Summary: Jaehwan made decisions that he regretted later in life. Breaking up with Hongbin was and still is one of them. It hurts too much, lying to himself and seeing his love be happy without him.Yet, he finds solace, writing his heart out and talking to a fan of his works.





	Candy and Chains

**Author's Note:**

> Originally based off of Only U, I completely turned my notes into something different and long. Enjoy my first work for the VIXX fandom!

_“I think it’s best… If we take a break.”_

He was an idiot to think that it was a good idea. To think that it would really benefit themselves.

_“What do you mean? Are you not happy? We haven’t been caught yet, nothing’s gone wrong.”_

God, his members were right when they said that he was whipped for him. Lee Jaehwan, crazily in love and willing to do anything for his boyfriend, Lee Hongbin.

_“Oh no, I’m happy! It’s just that… I don’t feel like it’s going right. I just need some time to gather my thoughts, y’know? Is that okay? You’re free to date anyone you want during this time if it makes you feel better. I just, really need some time. I’m sorry Jaehwan.”_

The first thing that went through his mind when Hongbin said that? To say yes and to let him leave. To let him slip out of his grasp when he knew that deep inside, he didn’t want him to.

Jaehwan always seemed to make decisions on an impulse, ultimately regretting them later.

This was one he regretted as soon as the words came out of his mouth, but he knew there was no way to get them back.

_“Yeah. If it’ll make you happy, then I’m okay with it. Take the time you need.”_

Wow, what a stupid move. Why did he cling onto the hope that he’d come back to him? Jaehwan knew that decisions like this would probably take more than just a mere day to be decided, and by all means he was just hoping and praying.

He seriously wished that this could all just be a bad dream.

_“Thank you Jaehwan. Thank you so much.”_

 

* * *

 

It took months.

God, it took so many months just for his elysium to return to him. Jaehwan lost count on how many things he had tried to do in order to ease his pain. It didn’t help that they were preparing for a comeback, so he’d see his face all the goddamn time. It pained him to see him smile that easily around the others, as if a burden had been lifted from his shoulders.

If anything, it had caused more pain for Jaehwan, making him doubt that their relationship was one that Hongbin had actually cared about. He seemed so much… happier without Jaehwan clinging onto him. As if their special moments didn’t matter, as if the kisses they shared were without meaning.

It made his head hurt just by thinking of it.

His pain didn’t all go to waste, though. He made an outlet by writing, posting his sorrow-filled works online on a blog and having people read them. They empathized with him, gave him advice and honestly just made him feel a lot better than before.

 _Comment under: Oxygen_  
_**[RedBeans93]**_  
**waa~ it’s so good!! (b ᵔ▽ᵔ)b**  
**I would like to see more, your works are always beautiful ( ´ ω ` )**  
**fighting!~**

Jaehwan scoffed at the comment, amused by their usage of emoticons. He thought they were childish, but it was sorta cute to see them with the compliment.

But… looking closer at their username, they seemed familiar to him. The ‘93’ was obviously a birth year, seeing how it was a common occurrence in usernames. ‘RedBeans’ was probably a inside joke between friends? Or something they liked? Jaehwan wouldn’t know, he had no idea who this ‘RedBeans93’ character was, but they had a touch of someone familiar.

They were very supportive of him, and that was always a rarity these days. Comments like that kept him going, and if anything distracted him from Hongbin.

As time went by and he wrote more, he began to see this interesting user a lot more in his comments section. They were practically on each and every post, which was a bit shocking. He hadn’t seen such a devoted reader before.

 _Comment under: Delusions_  
_**[RedBeans93]**_  
**this one was very emotional, I cried (｡T ω T｡)**  
**I wonder if you’re okay, jamong-nim?**  
**please, if you want to talk to someone, then I am available! (´• ω •`)**

Jaehwan smiled at the new comment. It made him feel comforted, seeing how this person he didn’t even know was reaching out to him because they were worried. It didn’t seem like it would hurt, as long as he didn’t reveal that he was an idol. It could be some sasaeng fan for all he knew.

 _[RedBeans93]_  
_this one was very emotional, I cried (｡T ω T｡)_  
_I wonder if you’re okay, jamong-nim?_  
_please, if you want to talk to someone, then I am available! (´• ω •`)_  
_**[jamong_xx]**_  
**I’m glad you like it, kong-ssi!**  
**where are you available to talk?**

He thought it was funny, inputting their name as ‘kong’, aka ‘bean’. Honestly, he had himself to blame, his own name meaning ‘grapefruit’. It was a safe name that he was sure that no one could deduce that he was Ken from VIXX, seeming like just another user on the site. It reminded him of Hongbin, seeing how they called him a bean at times. A handsome bean at that.

God, where was his mind going? The purpose of this was to distract himself from Hongbin, not to think about him.

With a sigh, Jaehwan decided to open up another new document while he waited for Kong’s reply, thinking about some new ideas to write about. Shangri-La had long finished promotions two weeks ago, so it was just the waiting game for the company to think of a new concept.

There were a few that he could think of, spying on some Starlights with his secret Twitter account. A spy concept, magic, western. As much as he loved them, they had already been done. Magic seemed to be EXO’s thing with their superpowers, and the spy and western concept was taken by Super Junior, with their old comebacks of Spy and Mamacita.

VIXX focused on emotions, an obsessive love with Voodoo Doll, two sides like heaven and hell with Hyde, a lost love with Eternity. So many love concepts, all done in such different ways. Wasn’t there something new that they could do? Sure, Shangri-La was quite different, but lyrically it was still about love.

Well, if he couldn’t stray away from the topic of love, might as well go with it, right?

With a deep breath, Jaehwan prepared himself for another late night.

 

* * *

 

It was late, maybe just shy of 2 am when he remembered about Kong.

Jaehwan was so immersed in writing, he had totally forgotten to check if the user had replied to his comment. Going back to the site with the click of a bookmark, he saw that he had a notification.

 _[RedBeans93]_  
_this one was very emotional, I cried (｡T ω T｡)_  
_I wonder if you’re okay, jamong-nim?_  
_please, if you want to talk to someone, then I am available! (´• ω •`)_  
_[jamong_xx]_  
_I’m glad you like it, kong-ssi!_  
_where are you available to talk?_  
_**[RedBeans93]**_  
**is twitter fine?**  
**i’ve sent a message over (￣▽￣)**

Well, that was a good four hours ago.

Going to the wonderful site of Twitter, Jaehwan logged onto his secret account and found the message waiting for him patiently from four hours ago. Surprisingly, Kong used a different username than the one they were using on the blog, but Jaehwan didn’t question it.

 _**[king_kong]** _  
**hello jamong-nim!**  
**it’s me, kong (￣▽￣)**  
**how are you doing?**

Well, better late than never, right?

 _**[jamong_xx]** _  
**hello kong!**  
**i’m doing okay, still plagued by bad memories though**  
**i hope you are doing okay!**

To his surprise, Kong was a VIXX fan account, biasing… himself. Lee Jaehwan in his full glory. With a username like that, he would have expected Hongbin, but people are surprising beings.

 ** _[king_kong]_**  
**ah, i’m doing alright!**  
**tired, but it isn’t much**  
**what bad memories are they, if you’re okay with talking about it?**

Wow, this fan account was up late. Jaehwan wondered what Starlights did in their free time.

 _**[jamong_xx]** _  
**it’s been a few months, but my SO broke up with me ;v;**  
**well, they said they wanted a break to think**  
**so i gave it to them**  
**but i miss them a lot, so much that it hurts**  
**it really hurts to see them happy**  
**because it feels like i was nothing to them**

Welp, Jaehwan just broke his rule of not revealing too much information. It had been, what, 5 minutes? Already complaining about his love life to some poor Starlight who probably didn’t want to hear about his blabbering.

 _**[king_kong]** _  
**i see**  
**it’s funny, that sounds like me**  
**i broke up with my boyfriend a while back because i wasn’t sure on some things**  
**but i miss him a lot**  
**i’m thinking of getting back with him**  
**i’ve left him in too much pain**  
**he probably needs me back**  
**seeing how clingy he was ( ˙꒳˙ )**  
**but he’s cute and kind! there’s nothing to worry about**  
**i feel bad, leaving him for so long…**  
**i can see the pain he’s hiding…**

 _**[jamong_xx]** _  
**if that’s the case, then you should get back together!**  
**if both of you are in pain, then it would best to ease it, right?**  
**i wish you good luck! fighting!**

 _**[king_kong]** _  
**i see, thank you jamong-nim!**  
**i should get to bed, i have a busy day ahead of me ;v;**  
**sleep well! i await your next work~**  
**and if you’re wondering, my username was already taken**  
**people tend to ask me that question a lot, so i might as well answer it for you ahead of time**  
**i guess i have too many accounts that i can’t keep track of (─‿‿─)**  
**good night~**

Jaehwan found himself smiling at the Starlight’s antics. The emoticon habit seemed to stick even while texting, and they added a certain charm.

It was interesting to see that they had answered the question that was in his mind, as if it were telepathy. But, as long as it answered him, then he wouldn’t pry any further. Though, it did make him wonder on who had the username, if it wasn’t Kong.

Finding himself on Twitter’s search bar, he typed in the username and was shown some very… intriguing results.

It was Hongbin’s Twitter account that popped up first, the username perfectly matching the one he had typed in. It made him wonder, why the Starlight had decided to use Hongbin’s username on the blog. It was quite clear that they were his fan, the profile picture being himself and there being many retweets of Ken fansites and their pretty pictures of him.

The usernames that they had chosen were very Hongbin biased, but clear evidence showed they were a Ken fan. Jaehwan could always do some digging around if he really wanted to, but it was late and he had to get some rest.

But being the idiot he was, he asked a few other Starlights who seemed to know Kong better, looking at their interactions they had on Twitter. Most were unable to give an answer, just saying that they didn’t know much. The others told him that Kong always had Ken as a bias, and that the usernames were just because their nickname IRL was also Kong. (He couldn’t believe that they were all up this late, also scolding them for not getting any rest.)

It didn’t seem to match up well, but at this point it was the only evidence he could believe and take.

Maybe some rest would help his poor soul out.

 

* * *

 

With their new concept finally figured out, they were back into practicing mode with learning new dances and singing new songs. Seeing how he had a horrible affinity for dance at times, Jaehwan didn’t have much time to write these days, more focused on practicing and refining his moves.

But, with the little time he had, he still managed to finish up his newest work, ‘Relentless’. It was based off his current emotions, struggling to focus on things other than Hongbin and being unable to do so. Fans would probably just think that it was a story based off of their song, ‘Only U’, and he was sure that none would correlate it with himself.

Okay, maybe Kong could, seeing how they already deduced that the stories were based off his emotions and thoughts.

Running through it one final time, Jaehwan quickly posted it before going to practice. Seeing it be uploaded made him feel better, setting him in a good mood for the day.

During break, he sat away from Hongbin, gulping down water and quickly checking if there were any comments on ‘Relentless’ just yet. There were a few, definitely more than he usually got, but none from Kong. Maybe they were busy with school? It was odd though, they normally commented soon after he had posted.

“Ah, N-hyung! Look, they posted a new story, you should give that one a try.” Jaehwan heard Hongbin yell to their leader, and he froze. Peering over Hakyeon’s shoulder, who luckily sat right next to him, he saw the man click on the link that Hongbin had sent him, sending him straight to Jaehwan’s newest post.

Oh fuck.

Okay, so two of his members unknowingly read his works. Totally okay, right? Of course not.

Now was definitely not a good time to start freaking out. They didn’t even know it was him, for fucks sake, doing so would probably reveal his identity. That meant that they read the works he wrote, the ones describing that suffocating feeling that he felt, the pain he was going through, and they didn’t even know that it was him.

He was a fucking grapefruit, so that made sense. He wasn’t dumb enough to stick a giant label on his back that revealed his identity. That would remove the freedom he currently had, and would also get him into some shitty rumors.

“Sounds like Only U.” Hakyeon mumbled, ever so casually scrolling through and reading each word diligently. “It’s like they went through our concept notes, even though no one except us and the staff have read through it.”

Jaehwan’s brain decided that now was the perfect time to play dumb.

“Hm, what are you reading, hyung?” he asked, this time clearly showing interest in the post.

“Just some story that Hongbin sent me. You want the link?” he asked.

“Sure, why not. You said that it was like Only U, right? I’d like to see how similar it is.” Jaehwan commented, pulling out his phone and going to the link Hakyeon sent him. He made sure to log out of his account beforehand, just so that he wouldn’t be caught.

Pretending to read through the story, which he was glad that he had made it relatively short this time, he finished it quickly and feigned a shocked look. He was glad that he had some acting experience under his belt. It wasn’t super fake, still had his own Jaehwan touch, and seemed natural.

“It’s super similar. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the staff wrote this. It’s quite emotional too.”

“I doubt it.” Hongbin called out, overhearing their little conversation. “Have you seen their other works? You know the staff go through mental tests every month to check their health, and all of them are fine. They wouldn’t have written something like this if they weren’t suffering from something.”

“How do you know?” Jaehwan argued, knowing he was getting into something bad. “It’s easy to feign that you’re okay. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were lying about something.”

The look on Hongbin’s face was one that he wished he could take a picture of, but the situation was definitely not right. (Not just because of his good looks, but that was the main reason.)

“Oh, is that so? How would you know, Jaehwan-hyung?” he asked, snark in his voice and clearly doubting his experience with it.

With a small laugh, he stared at Hongbin straight on, making his snarkiness falter. “You’d be surprised at how easy it is for someone to lie. People eat it up like candy, unknowing if it’s a dangerous drug. I thought you’d know from experience, seeing how you’ve eaten that candy so many times.”

The air went tense, and everyone was unsure of what to do. Hakyeon was desperately trying to calm Jaehwan down, and the other members were looking at the pair in shock. The staff that were there tried to pretend that they didn’t see or hear anything, but it was clear that they were affected as well.

“I think we’ll stop practice here today.” their choreographer quickly called out, clapping his hands. “Everyone’s probably irritable from our constant work, so take this time to calm down and get some rest.” he ordered, and everyone nodded, taking his advice immediately.

“Jaehwanie, are you okay?” Hakyeon whispered to him, clearly worried for his fellow members. “This isn’t like you.”

“I’m fine, Hakyeon-hyung. I think Hongbin has too much poison in his system. You’d better flush it out with some sweet, pure truth.” he bitterly spat, grabbing his things and leaving before the leader could say another word.

God fuck, he was pissed.

 

* * *

 

Jaehwan was disappointed to see that there was nothing from Kong. No comment, nothing in their chat. He had really hoped that there was at least something that could lift his spirits.

He spent his time by writing, trying his very best to cool down from his little bout with Hongbin. He had denied Hakyeon’s offer to go get dinner, opting to stay away from human interaction as much as possible. Sure, it was unhealthy, but Jaehwan really didn’t want to do anything other than write at the moment.

It was clear he wasn’t going to take initiative to go and make up with Hongbin, so Hakyeon barged into his room for a confrontation. (Well, if you call barging in gently opening the door and slipping in.)

“Jaehwan, can we talk?” Hakyeon asked, taking a seat on the vocalist’s bed, hands laced together to show that he meant business. Swivelling his chair to face his leader, Jaehwan pulled his knees to his chest, ready for the lecture he was going to get.

“What’s up?” he nonchalantly started, avoiding eye contact by staring at his rug.

“Are you okay these days? You haven’t really been yourself lately. Are you and Hongbin okay? Your relationship doesn’t seem to be going well.” he questioned, his voice light to show that he was concerned.

“I’m fine, hyung. I guess I’m just tired. Hongbin and I…” Jaehwan trailed off, wincing slightly at how foreign the name was to his tongue. “We broke up.”

“What? When? Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I didn’t feel the need to, he didn’t feel the need to. He’s happier anyways.” he muttered, nails digging into his palms. “It hurts to see him happy. I don’t mean anything to him anymore.”

“I don’t think that’s true.” Hakyeon interjected, making Jaehwan look up at him in confusion. “Hongbin’s a lot more high strung lately, stressed too. I can hear him cry himself to sleep sometimes. It hurts him too. You should do something before it’s too late.”

Pleased with himself, Hakyeon got up and left Jaehwan’s room, giving him one last piece of advice before leaving.

“Mind you, I’m going to give Hongbin this same speech, so don’t be surprised if he comes to you first. Who will feed each other the truth first? The remedy for poison.”

Staring blankly at his door, Hakyeon’s words slowly made their way to his brain, being processed diligently with each syllable analyzed.

“Aish, that hyung, using my cool analogy.” he grumbled, turning his chair back to his laptop. The words on screen seemed… harsher than he had expected, each one laced with poison. It wasn’t fitting.

He trashed the document and started anew, this time choosing his words carefully.

He’d get Hongbin back and save him.

 

* * *

 

 _**[king_kong]** _  
**hello, jamong-nim!**  
**i’m sorry i haven’t been around lately (TvT)**  
**i’m not in the best of moods, got into a bit of an argument**  
**i hope you’re doing okay?**

Jaehwan looked up from his phone to glance at Hongbin, who was too busy texting on his phone to notice such a thing. It was a bit strange for Kong to message him at such a time, so conveniently during their break. While they were gone, he and Hongbin hadn’t made up yet, and things were getting tense.

 _**[jamong_xx]** _  
**hello, kong~**  
**i’m doing okay, thank you for asking!**  
**oh no! i hope it wasn’t too bad**  
**have you made up yet? you can’t dwell on it too much.**

 _**[king_kong]** _  
**i’m afraid not (｡T ω T｡)**  
**i argued with my boyfriend**  
**or ex-boyfriend, technically**  
**we got into a fight because of your works, actually (─‿‿─)**  
**our discussion about you got too heated, and he spewed this analogy about lies and candy**  
**something about how “lies are like candy, people eat them up so easily without knowing if it’s a drug or not”**  
**and he said that i had eaten that candy many times**  
**i think he also said that i had too much poison in me?**  
**do you know what it means? seeing how you’re a writer and you understand analogies better (ovo)**

Wait.

What the fuck?

Poisonous candy analogies were his thing, so why did Kong know about it? It wasn’t like any of them shared such a thing, and this was only something that was heard in private. No Starlight could have found out about such a thing.

Oh.

Jaehwan was pretty sure that he was an idiot.

It all made sense now. The usernames, the reason why Kong’s bias was Ken. The reason why their username on the blog was the exact same as Hongbin’s on Twitter. Kong was-

“Hm? Who are you messaging, Hongbin-hyung?” Sanghyuk asked, peering over the screen in an attempt to look at the chat. Hongbin just hugged his phone to his chest, shielding it from his prying eyes.

“I’m having a very private conversation with Jamong-nim, I’m afraid you can’t look at it Hyukkie.”

“Oh, them? Of course you’d be able to talk with such a good writer, you attract so many people so easily~”

Holy fuck, Jaehwan’s mind was blown.

He was messaging Hongbin. He had been messaging his ex-boyfriend the entire time. The reason why he used a different username on Twitter than on the blog was because he was using it for his official Twitter. Why the names were so Hongbin-biased because he was Hongbin.

The reason why Kong’s bias was Ken was because he couldn’t let go of Jaehwan.

It was like Jaehwan had seen a new light. Everything finally made sense, he was just an idiot who didn’t see the connections that were right in front of him. In a similar situation from their first chat? That was because they were talking about each other.

The usage of emoticons while texting? It was exactly what Hongbin did. Messaging him exactly when they had their break? He had the exact same break time as well.

Getting out of his initial shock, Jaehwan realized that he could use this to his advantage. He had the perfect plan, and it required him to do a little bit of writing.

 _**[jamong_xx]** _  
**well, if lies are candies that you’re eating up**  
**or drugs in his case**  
**have you ever considered what he says are all lies?**  
**“i’m fine”**  
**“i’m happy”**  
**is he really?**  
**if you can see the pain on his face**  
**then maybe being apart isn’t the right thing**  
**you should get back together before it’s too late**  
**before you can’t save him.**  
**the candy is a drug that is unknowingly killing you both, because you’re both eating it.**  
**i’m afraid i have to go now!**  
**but please await my new works.**  
**you’ll enjoy them.**

An odd sense of pride filling him, Jaehwan placed his phone away and returned to practice, smiling at Hongbin’s confused face.

Oh, if only he knew.

 

* * *

 

Jaehwan took a deep breath, finalizing his work and reading through it one last time. It was time for his plan to take action, the plan to get Hongbin back and save both of them from the suffering they were going through.

It was a simple plan, really. Release a series of works in rapid succession, each one slowly hinting more and more about his true identity before outright targeting Hongbin to confront him. As long as he wasn’t dense about it, Hongbin would take the bait easily.

It was only 6 pm, just at dinner time, and Jaehwan posted the first of his series.

 

**_Saviour (1/6)_ **

_Sometimes, you wish you had a saviour._  
_Someone to grasp your hand, pull you up from the depths of that hell and to tell you that it’s alright._  
_You have one, they’re just in unlikely places._

_Why don’t you go find them?_

 

They were short, but carried his message well in an obvious yet obscure way. If he was lucky, then Hongbin would probably comment on it or message him about it, and more hints could be given.

When 7 pm rolled around, he posted the next part.

 

**_Angel (2/6)_ **

_He was like an angel._  
_Pretty looks, kind smile, everything you would have wished for in a perfect person._  
_I feel bad for the angel._  
_We shot each other down from heaven, and now we’re lost in hell, struggling to find each other._

_We’re surviving, but only barely._

 

Like he had predicted, Hongbin got curious and decided to message Jaehwan, still unknowing of his identity.

 _**[king_kong]** _  
**i didn’t expect you to post a series, jamong-nim~**  
**i like it! it’s short and sweet (⌒ω⌒)**  
**but like always, you’re hiding something, aren’t you?**  
**what’s the secret message this time?**  
**won’t you tell me? (*¯︶¯*)**

 _**[jamong_xx]** _  
**i’d love to**  
**but that would ruin the fun.**  
**you’re a smart person, i know it**  
**i’m sure you can figure it out.**  
**(･ω <)☆**

 

**_Confusion (3/6)_ **

_You’re… confused, right?_  
_To be honest, I am too._  
_Will you be able to uncover the secrets of the candy?_  
_Which ones had poison? Which ones were safe? Or were all of them just a drug?_  
_Can you drink the elixir before it’s too late?_

_Remember, lies are poisonous, addicting like a drug._

 

Being completely honest with himself, Jaehwan was having the time of his life. It was fun playing such a game, making people speculate and try to work out what he was trying to say. There would only be one winner, and that would be Hongbin.

The game was tailored for him after all.

 

**_Truths (4/6)_ **

_He told me._  
_Told me you cried yourself to sleep, told me about the pain you were going through._  
_I hate to say it, but it’s your fault._  
_You were the one who started it._  
_Don’t worry, I’ll be the one to end it._

_Our pain, I’ll end it with the truth._

 

**[king_kong]**   
**jamong-nim, are you okay?**  
**your series seems… odd.**  
**is this some hidden story?**  
**is there something we’re missing?**  
**please, tell me**  
**what is the truth?**

 

**_I’m Sorry (5/6)_ **

_I’m sorry._  
_I’m fucking sorry._  
_I’ve poisoned you too much, you don’t deserve this._  
_Come to me._  
_I have the elixir that you need to live._

_You have the elixir I need to live._

 

 _**[king_kong]** _  
**jamong-nim, you’re seriously scaring me.**  
**what elixir?**  
**who have you poisoned?**  
**please, tell me.**

 

**_Finale (6/6)_ **

_The finale is here._  
_Have you figured it out yet?_  
_Who I am?_  
_I think it’s quite obvious._  
_If you think about it, I gave many hints._  
_Dear angel, will you come and tell me the answer?_

 

 _**[king_kong]** _  
**jamong-nim?**  
**please, answer me this time.**  
**the truth is the elixir, right?**  
**is this the answer?**

 _**[jamong_xx]** _  
**I have the elixir, and so do you.**  
**Hongbin.**  
**We can end our suffering.**  
**please.**

 _**[king_kong]** _  
**…**  
**jaehwan?**

 _**[jamong_xx]** _  
**i can’t do this anymore**  
**i need you**  
**i need your warmth, i need your words**  
**i need your love**  
**i can’t do this anymore**

“Please… save me.” Jaehwan croaked out, tears pooling from his eyes, desperately clutching onto his phone as he sat on the floor of his room.

It was hurting too much for him to comprehend, it hurt so, so much. He didn’t know the words he was writing, he didn’t know what story he was trying to tell. He just wanted Hongbin to understand, to find out who he was and to end his game.

He felt like he overdosed, like he took too many pills of the drug of lies that he was feeding himself and was shutting down. The pain numbed down to a dull throb, and Jaehwan was beginning to doubt if the plan actually worked.

He could hear footsteps coming closer to his room, and a figure quickly entered. They had closed the door for some privacy, and Jaehwan looked up to see who it was.

“Hongbin-” he started, but was shushed.

The man was in distress, still in his day clothes and his hair a absolute mess. He didn’t care though. Hongbin didn’t care about how he looked when his lover was sitting right in front of him.

“Oh Jaehwan.” he whispered, slowly stepping forward and crouching down to his height to examine him. His eyes were sunken in a bit more, dark circles definitely prominent. Jaehwan also seemed a lot smaller, his build not as sturdy as it was before.

The poor vocalist couldn’t hold his tears in when he felt that familiar hand grasp his once more, a feeling he missed for ages. It was so warm, and their hands fit so perfectly, slotting together like a key into it’s lock.

“Shh, it’s okay. You don’t have to cry anymore. I’m so sorry, fuck, I’m sorry that I left you behind. I didn’t know that it would get this bad, I didn’t know I would cause so much damage.” Hongbin whispered, feeling the warmth of Jaehwan’s body against his once more as he embraced him.

“I’m crying because I’m happy, you idiot.” he mumbled between sobs, clutching the fabric of Hongbin’s shirt tight. He didn’t want to lose this feeling, the warmth and comfort he was missing the entire time.

It didn’t take long for Hongbin to start crying as well. He could finally feel safe, finally stop that constant dread that was in his stomach and stop tearing himself apart at night. As much as he didn’t want to, Jaehwan pulled away, taking his time to gently wipe away the tears on their faces.

Hongbin wasn’t in the best condition either. He had continued to take care of his body, but the fatigue was showing on his face. Dark circles growing, his face slimmer from loss of weight. But his smile, the smile he had because he could finally be with his love again, his smile was still the same. Despite everything he went through, he still smiled.

“You look tired.” Jaehwan mumbled, lightly running his thumb over his features.

“You’re in a worse condition than me. God, you’re so much smaller than I remembered. What did I do to you? What have you been doing that caused this?” he asked, noticing how Jaehwan wasn’t as stocky or as built than he last remembered.

“Writing. I stayed up to write, I got less sleep from lament and I ate less. It just became a habit afterwards. It isn’t your fault, it’s mine for not seeing how much I was damaging myself.” he quickly explained, ignoring the look from Hongbin.

“You can’t just do that!” he hissed, grasping both hands tight and staring into Jaehwan’s eyes. “Please, promise me that you’ll take care of yourself? I don’t want to see you like this ever again.”

“You won’t leave me again, will you?”

“I promise.”

With a small smile, Jaehwan linked his pinky with Hongbin’s curling them together and sealing the deal by stamping their thumbs. “I promise as well. Maybe now we’ll see some happy stories from Jamong-nim.”

With a small chuckle, Hongbin pressed his lips to Jaehwan’s, fully savouring them. They were plush and plump, sweet like nectar and addicting like a drug. A safer drug, one that wouldn’t damage each other.

“So, do I win the game?” he slyly asked, pulling away with a smile.

“Game complete. Congratulations.”

 

* * *

 

Hakyeon was in a bit of a frenzy.

I mean, who wouldn’t be, with Hongbin nowhere to be seen and Jaehwan sleeping in. He had to take matters into his own hands, so he lovingly barged into the vocalist’s room.

“Yah, Lee Jaehwan-” he began to yell, but quickly stopped himself when he saw the sight in front of him. Jaehwan and Hongbin, peacefully sleeping on the ground with their legs intertwined and small smiles on their faces.

First off, why the bloody hell were they on the ground?

But then again, it was easy to deduce that they had made up overnight. Not only that, but it seemed like they finally managed to tell each other the truth and get back together. He couldn’t stop the wide smile that stretched on his face, and Hakyeon snapped a quick picture with his phone.

Sneaking around the couple, he grabbed the blanket that was on the bed and draped it over their bodies. Hakyeon also took the time to grab the pillow and gently lift their heads onto it.

“They should be grateful, having me as a leader to think of an excuse for them to sleep in.” he grumbled whilst doing it, unable to hold in his complaints for long. It warmed his heart to see the sight, one that he had sort of missed during the couple’s absence.

Sneaking back to the door, he gave them one last look before leaving them be.

“Mission success. The others will be pleased to hear about this.”

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the end of this?? Ignore any mistakes you see, I tend to proofread at night and I sorta fell asleep near the end of this one;;;
> 
> The username for Hongbin on the writing site is real, while the twitter one for his stan account is fake. For Jaehwan's I took one of my friend's handles, because I couldn't think of anything and it was the first thing I saw. Hers was actually @jamong__xx, I deleted one underscore. Sorry Erin. (｡T ω T｡)
> 
>  
> 
> [ twitter](https://twitter.com/tbz_sunlight)


End file.
